


Taps

by fondofthehowes



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Coping, Deep Roads, F/M, Gen, Nonverbal Communication, Panic Attacks, getting ill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-16 23:54:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29584059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fondofthehowes/pseuds/fondofthehowes
Summary: She was quiet. Deathly still in her breathing as they walked back towards the surface. There was no sound in her ears or words in her chest. Magnolia just focused on her feet moving forward one at a time. Left, right, left, right, closer and closer to the light. It was too dark down there, in so many ways.
Relationships: Alistair & Female Cousland (Dragon Age), Alistair/Female Cousland (Dragon Age)
Kudos: 8





	Taps

She was quiet. Deathly still in her breathing as they walked back towards the surface. There was no sound in her ears or words in her chest. Magnolia just focused on her feet moving forward one at a time. _Left, right, left, right,_ closer and closer to the light. It was too dark down there, in so many ways. 

When they reached Caridin's Cross again, light flooding the path with stone and fire, she paused. A hand touched her back but she didn't register it. She simply walked towards the other side of the walkway and heaved. Along with the water in her stomach, her hearing came back, ringing so high the frequency felt like it was shaking her bones. She felt fragile, as if she were made of glass that was poised and ready to break. 

The previous week underground told her that wasn't true, but it felt like it. Maker, it felt like she may just do it anyway. 

"Magnolia." 

Taking another breath, she again heaved, coughing up nothing but air as her stomach lurched. Again, a touch on her back. Singular. Holding a hand out she shook it, trying to make whoever it was back off. Again, a tap on her back. Singular. Again, she waved her hand. 

The hand was captured between two others, soft from callouses, and she stopped shaking. Another tap against her. Quiet in her ears, her heartbeat started to register again slowly. Two thumps. Slow. Paced. Against worn hands, she tapped twice. Her heart was beating. She was fine. 

His hand held her still, waiting. Again, she tapped him twice as the sound got louder in her ears. A rush of something other than her blood. That deep wind sound the tunnels had about them that would haunt her dreams for weeks along with so much more. Taking another breath in, her hand shook once again. Once again, he tapped once. 

A reminder. A focal point. Here. _Here, here, here._ She shook, squeezing him again until he did it once more. There was so little certainty in her life anymore. The depth of these tunnels proved that.

"Can you talk to me?" Alistair asked softly, pressing a thumb against her hand squeezing it as he swept the skin. "Anything, Magnolia. You haven't spoken in days." 

She shook her head, sniffling as the high wound down in her body. Exhaustion flooded her, taking hold of her muscles and limbs, pulling her to the ground where she rested on her knees. He moved along with her, hovering, hand against her back. There the whole time even when she wasn't. 

"You need to try and keep something down," He murmured, brushing her hair back behind her ear. Again, she shook her head. "Maggie, it's not up for debate." 

Eyes fluttering, she took the words in. Anyone else. Anyone. If anyone had said that to her but him, she would've seen red. There would be debate. But it wasn't anyone else. It was Alistair. Gasping out another breath she nodded, sniffling again as her hands rubbed eyes she was unaware were wet. 

In her hand, he placed a small glass vial shining with gold liquid. It pitched up the side and her stomach did the same. She shook her head again. _I can't_. 

"Yes, you can. Try. You need stamina to get out of here," Alistair murmured, eyes flickering back to what she assumed were the others. "I can carry you. But that's dangerous right now." 

The thought of him in danger because of her made her stomach churn worse than the potion. She nodded, unplugging the top before quickly chugging it back. It burnt the entire way down and when it sat in her stomach, she coughed. Finger beneath her chin, he directed her gaze from the floor to him for the first time. 

"There's my girl," Alistair whispered warmly, thumb sweeping her jaw. "You can keep it down. I know you can." 

Nodding, she closed her eyes, blinking remnant tears down her cheeks before pulling in a breath through her nose. Hand against his shoulder, she tapped once. _Here. Back. Safe._ Leaning into her, he wrapped an arm around her waist to pull her up to stand. She felt him nod to the others and once again she concentrated on her feet. They would be out soon. 

Maker, they had to be.


End file.
